Braces Warrior Gifts

'Help! My retainers have me trapped by refrigerator magnets!'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Mod Kwan Doh

Shark with Braces.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

"Is there a seamstress present?"

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'Why can I never find my camouflage trousers?'

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

'Don't be afraid!...Bobo's just going to fix the teeth a little tighter.'

Genius Bar

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Dr. Miller like to show off his ability to remove a full set of braces in one quick, bare-handed, jolt.

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'The sequel to The Emperor Wore No Clothes.'

"Don't get mad at me - you're the one who threw your robe in the dryer."

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

Your appliance maintenance agreement just expired. I'm here for your appliance...'

And this computer comes with a three year warranty, but of course it'll be obsolete in 6 months.

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

Jeans Styles

"I'm not wearing that - it screams first day of school."