Boy Mom Humorist Pillows

'Admit it, mom... you wish you has a girl.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'The cool thing about being a kangaroo is that I can actually watch my baby grow...'

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

"Where's your nose?"