Boxing Instructor Gifts

'Now here's the basic stance...'

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

A young Don King

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"Let's consider an early dive."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Nun Fight.

Muhammad Ali publishes a popup book.

"So, what are you reading?"

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"I told you not to invite that guy!"

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Trainer: I'll warn you now Johnny, don't underestimate this guy. If he gets you into a corner, he'll clean you up.

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Early Exercise Machines

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

Round 2 (office meeting being conducted like a boxing match).

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

EU

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"Don't tell coach about this- he doesn't want us to be friends."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'