Boxing Instructor Gifts

'Now here's the basic stance...'

"Keep your guard up and don't hold your punches. Whatever you do, watch out for his right hook!"

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

A young Don King

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"Let's consider an early dive."

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Nun Fight.

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"So, what are you reading?"

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Trainer: I'll warn you now Johnny, don't underestimate this guy. If he gets you into a corner, he'll clean you up.

The Boxing Glove Diet was working for Bertram.

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Early Exercise Machines

Mayo-A-Mayo

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

EU

"Don't tell coach about this- he doesn't want us to be friends."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'