Boutique Medicine Supporter T-Shirts

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

New Age Store.

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

As models become skinnier, so do the mannequins.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

"These are the least elegant one's in stock!"

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

"Come on. I always browse the Mom and Pop stores before buying online."

'It's ironic: I'm a carnivore, but my stomach pains were cured by a herbalist...'

Porcupine Acupuncture

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

"In every instance, the invading species replaced the native species."

'Don't just sit there-there's an articulated lorry wants unloading outside!'

Does my bank account look big in this?

Faith Healer next to the Emergency Room at a fair.

"Pssst! Interested in women's clothes with actual real pockets?"

"It IS a 'designer' dress, it's just that the designer was a bit rubbish!"

'Have you got one with smaller spots?'