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"Is this prescription to go or will you be abusing it here?"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'This is your lucky day!'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

"Uh-Oh!"

Too much Inflammation

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Witch Doctor

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

Meds Toast

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Anatomy.