Boutique Lover Gifts

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'I remember when it was a row of quaint little coffee bars and boutiques.'

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Don't just sit there-there's an articulated lorry wants unloading outside!'

Does my bank account look big in this?

Cocktails on the verandah.

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Military Medals

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Early Piety

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Scarf puts hat back on.

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'I know I complimented you on that outfit last time you wore it, but that was in 1980.'

Opening the Barrel

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Victorian Selfie

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"