Bouquet Buff T-Shirts

'Yes, please, go on and on about the interaction between the wine's bouquet and the various inner parts of your nose.'

"I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth to mouth."

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Theorbo

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"I hear you've a complaint about the eggs..."

Somewhere in France

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

Ballet Lovers

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

Ginger's bakery: Our Cookies Snap!

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"What does she have that I don't?"

"Look, you bake the cookies, I eat them the system works."

'I think we should leave a trail of crumbs so we don't get lost.'

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

Vincent Van Goth.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart for Music ofnthe Baroque

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'