Bottle Magician Gifts

Wine Cosy

We'll have Manhattans...

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

Wine Talking

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

The quarantine self cut.

Moses Separates the Cream. . .

The writer's world

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

"How almond milk is made"

'I think breast milk is better... It's free, always fresh and the cat can't get to it.'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

Astronaut startled by post delivered to spaceship.

man in suit carries pile of books with sticky notes

Submarine

"Shaketh."

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

Food Science Lab. There's jealousy among the peanut butter molecules. "Smooth" does out all the time and "chunky" can't get a date.

"Numb yet?"

'They're automating the bottling process? Why? Just yesterday, me and my team managed to cork four bottles.'

'Good news Mr. Smith.We got your outboard motor running again.'

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

"There's an editor out here with an unsolicited manuscript lodged in his throat."

'What have you got in the way of a Cabernet Sauvignon for people who like Zinfandel when they can't find Merlot?'

Vanishing Act.

For years he had spent every free moment working on his perpetual motion machine. So far, he was up to 18 seconds.

"However, the change is spectacular on the molecular level."

"As the Genie of the Stapler I grant you three wishes. All must involve paper products, of course."

'Hello, mother? Have you got that voodoo book out of the library again?'

'Gee, I don't know. Can I see this in another mirror?'

'No doubt, that's the cow that gives us fat-free milk!'

Invention No 123. The Anti-prune Mirror