Bottle Botanist T-Shirts

'One unexpected problem I've run into, since making my own wine, is finding foods to pair with 160-proof Burgundy.'

Wildlife

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

Horti-Culture

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

Painting taking root...

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

Botany Baby!

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'I'd forgotten how lovely it looks outside!'

The Garden

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

Mad about Roses!

"Get out of my face!"

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'That plant food really works!'

Medicinal plants

Plant Reference Library - Flowers/Trees.

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'