Bottle Bewitcher T-Shirts

Wine charmer

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Macbeth: Take Two

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Traffic Cone Monsters

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Are you a good witch or a bad witch?'

Wine Talking

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Wino Appreciation Group

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"It's a witch, all right. So do we burn, bake or poach it?"

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Welcome Home from the Dog.

You're bottling things up, aren't you?

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"