Bottle Bewitcher Prints

Wine charmer

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Macbeth: Take Two

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Traffic Cone Monsters

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Wino Appreciation Group

"It's a witch, all right. So do we burn, bake or poach it?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Wine Talking

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

Welcome Home from the Dog.

"Wine is plant-based food."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

You're bottling things up, aren't you?

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

"She got the house, six thousand a month and custody of our people."

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

'So, what do you think of my first attempt at making homemade wine?'

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'