Bottle Aficionado T-Shirts

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Sauvignon Bonk

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Join me in a Martini?

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Trump Poutine

You're the botanicals in my gin

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"I make it myself!"

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"