Botany Battler T-Shirts

'Let's face it Frank, you just don't have a green thumb.'

Prize vegetables.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Plant Lady

Garden Goddess.

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Hermit Crabapple Tree

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Computer Expert

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

'All these years we battled the bugs, and all it took was a sign?'

Balding gnomes

Tree Identification Field Guide...

'Let's go to the Horticultural Show and taste the exotic flowers...'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

Painter's Duel.

'Due to a programming error you have been erased.'

Drone Spray

'How long did you try before calling?'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

David Attenborough

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

Computer Virus

'Looks like a perfectly healthy limb to me.'

'Oh for God's sake just ignore it!'