Botanical Nerd Gifts

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Ascent of Machine.

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"What the heck? The humans are washing in our waterhole with soap!"

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Plant Reference Library - Flowers/Trees.

Naked Mole Rat

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

Vaccine

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

The real reason why flamingos are pink

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Cliff Notes

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Why giraffes hate winter

"What are you in for?"

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."