Botanical Demise Analyst T-Shirts

'I'm afraid he's gone and your plant's died too.'

The Velvet Mesquite

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

Tonight 'Richard III' a new play by William Shakespeare.

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

In the houseplant cemetery.

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

Ocotillo

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

'You think you're close? Listen Bud, I wrote the book on extinction!'

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

Dead House Plant

A group of businessmen read a profit chart that reads "Lousy"

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

Escaping Flowers

"Sometimes I just don't know where I end and the invisible fence begins."

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

4 Failure Types: Mr. Underprepared, Ms. Overprepared, Ms. Insecure, Mr. Overconfident

"I'm poison oak. I'm pretty sure I'm poison oak.... Or is that poison oak?"

Venus fly trap.

'It's the only way to get to see their more inaccessible plants!'

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

"What seems to be the problem?"

Rotting Jack-o'-Lantern Pie.

The Pinon Pine

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."