Botanical Demise Analyst T-Shirts

'I'm afraid he's gone and your plant's died too.'

The Velvet Mesquite

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

Tonight 'Richard III' a new play by William Shakespeare.

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"Wouldn't this one look nice shrivelled up in the kitchen?"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

In the houseplant cemetery.

Trade School. Going to trade school after our real estate business collapsed was a good idea! These days it's all about "vocation, vocation, vocation"!

'Ha! I knew they were just little trees!'

'You think you're close? Listen Bud, I wrote the book on extinction!'

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

Ocotillo

'Heaven welcomes botanists, we've millions of extinct plants that need classifying!'

A group of businessmen read a profit chart that reads "Lousy"

Incompetent gardeners cause havoc

Dead House Plant

Escaping Flowers

"Sometimes I just don't know where I end and the invisible fence begins."

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

4 Failure Types: Mr. Underprepared, Ms. Overprepared, Ms. Insecure, Mr. Overconfident

"I'm poison oak. I'm pretty sure I'm poison oak.... Or is that poison oak?"

Venus fly trap.

'It's the only way to get to see their more inaccessible plants!'

"What seems to be the problem?"

'Honey have you seen my Viagra'

Flower Show Information. What brings my favorite and only son-in-law here? I'm keeping my nursery up to date on best horticultural practices

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."