Bossa Nova Enthusiast T-Shirts

Blame it on the Bossa Nova

"You blame this on the 4 martinis I drank. I blame it on the Bossa Nova."

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

High security Santa's grotto

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Snowmobull

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Italia tours

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

Frank and Ernest Celestial Accountants. How's the audit of the Bankrupt Universe, Inc. going, Ernie? At first I thought it was a personnel problem -- Halley's Comet shows up once every seventy-six years, the supernovas are a bunch of burnouts and of course planet Mercury only works eighty-eight days a year. But the real problem isn't personnel, it's corporate strategy! Strategy? What's wrong? Universe, Inc. thinks it can keep expanding and expanding forever and ever!

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Do you call this spaghetti'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

Doctor's Office. He put me on a pasta diet -- He says I've been off my noodle long enough.

Santa CGI Effect

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Old Phones Lasagne

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'And that,and that,and that...'