Bossa Nova Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You blame this on the 4 martinis I drank. I blame it on the Bossa Nova."

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

High security Santa's grotto

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Snowmobull

Italia tours

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

Santa CGI Effect

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Old Phones Lasagne

'Do you call this spaghetti'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"