Bored Barrister Pillows

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

Man in meeting has drawn all over paper, table and chairman, who says: 'I have no objection to doodling during meetings, but it must be within reason.'

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Are you sending emails or ZZZ mails?"

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Clive Anderson

So you'd like to be a lawyer...

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Finishing law school was easy compared to finding an office.'

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

Statue of a lawyer

'Don't think of yourself as a tiny cog in a huge machine.'

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

'I take it, you're just starting out.'

'Relax, baby, and pay no attention to that old man behind you.'

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law."

"Who's a good witness."

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

"Don't judge my client by the covers of the books he reads."

Man with the same birth date as Mick Jagger

"We spent our everything putting John through law school. Fortunately, he's a bankruptcy attorney."