Borderline Shopper Pillows

Malpractice Lawyers Without Borders.

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Jungle Stores.

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Unusual Offers

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

Expensive greeting cards.

'Please enter your pin now.'

Everything for a buck.

"Does it come with magnets?"

(Direct to the Consumer)

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Jumble Sale

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

Fresh picked baseballs.

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

It bag and no knickers!

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'