Border Beautician Mugs

Doing the borders.

The adoration of the gels.

UK border controls relaxed.

Spa

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'I'm not in shock, my eyebrows are just receding with my hairline.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

A Manicure

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

Beauty salon - Our hair color is to dye for!

Woman applying makeup

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Every Thursday I do her nails."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"You must be patient, Mrs. Wast fall. Rome wasn't built in a day, you know."

Mirror mirror...

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."