Boozy Bibliophile Gifts

"What would you boys think if we started selling books?"

"Talk nerdy to me."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Edgar Allen Poe

Victor Hugo

The Dorrie Decimal System

Honoré de Balzac

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

George Orwell

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Paul Ree

"Barb's such a fast reader."

Literary Canines.

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Litterary Dogs.

'Read that last part back to me.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

A man and his dog both reading.

"Nevermore."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

"Spoiler alert...Z."

Women who Read Too Much

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."