Boot Camp Veteran Gifts

Small arms training

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

A penguin's life is like endless summer camp, swimming and fishing all day every day!

You're too old to go back to Camp Owonsit. That's ok. It's all little kids. How about Lake Kinepesakau Camp. It's all jocks. Your son needs an enriching summer experience. Thoughts? How about � Camp Workforaliving? It's all depressing adults.

Why do I have to go to camp? What's the alternative? Fend for myself like the resourceful youth of old! Right! The kind who worked dawn to dusk! I'll tell your dad you'll be right over to haul mulch for the nursery. The baseball camp sounds plenty rugged!

GPS verses Map and Compass - Lost or Found?

Gym. Try our Boot Camp Classes. I was dishonorably discharged!

There's a toxic cloud moving in our direction! Hurry! Teddy's home from sports camp. Ha. Ha. Ha.

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

The lineup for mental health services around the building.

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

'Guaranteed! By the end of the summer he'll be so self-reliant that you can cancel his allowance.'

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

'I'm the oldest employee in the store...I've been here from Hi-Fi to Wifi.'

Whack Your Alarm Clock

'After years of therapy I finally know who I am, Thank you very much,'

"That's two 'ayes', two 'nays' and a 'whatever'."

"These feet are fine. You have at least a couple of route marches left in them."

"Rustle when I call your name and I'll bring your diploma to you."

'-and you hate sleeping alone-well,there's a coincidence!'

'Now if you can break it in half, it's not an ovary....'

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

Boot Camp. Barracks 18. This fluid is specially formulated to remove old polish from combat boots. Ah, a military solution!

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

"Wow! This ropes course is a blast!"

"I think boot camp would be much cheaper than a gym membership."

"I thought it was a little campy."

'Hi Mom, Boot camp is fine, but I think our drill sergeant is hard of hearing. Every time we say something, he yells 'I can't hear you.''

Do you think I'm army material, Randy? I think you'd be a real asset to the army. Really? Pain is an asset, because otherwise, how would one appreciate pleasure? Loneliness is an asset, for otherwise how would one appreciate love? I think boot camp would be much cheaper than a gym membership. Death is an asset. How else would one cherish life?

Wimbledon Queue.

"The idea of swamping the canoe is to practice un-swamping it."

A mosquito writes a letter to a camper's parents in blood.

We've decided that the chairman should retire and you are going to tell him.

'No only have you got one foot in the grace, but it's also got an in-growing toe nail.'