Boot Camp Veteran Gifts

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

GPS verses Map and Compass - Lost or Found?

The lineup for mental health services around the building.

'Well, John, in the past two years you've gone from being extremely depressed to being basically unhappy like the rest of us. My work here is done.'

'Guaranteed! By the end of the summer he'll be so self-reliant that you can cancel his allowance.'

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

'I'm the oldest employee in the store...I've been here from Hi-Fi to Wifi.'

Whack Your Alarm Clock

"These feet are fine. You have at least a couple of route marches left in them."

"Rustle when I call your name and I'll bring your diploma to you."

'-and you hate sleeping alone-well,there's a coincidence!'

'Now if you can break it in half, it's not an ovary....'

"That's two 'ayes', two 'nays' and a 'whatever'."

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

"Wow! This ropes course is a blast!"

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

"I think boot camp would be much cheaper than a gym membership."

"I thought it was a little campy."

'Hi Mom, Boot camp is fine, but I think our drill sergeant is hard of hearing. Every time we say something, he yells 'I can't hear you.''

A mosquito writes a letter to a camper's parents in blood.

Wimbledon Queue.

"The idea of swamping the canoe is to practice un-swamping it."

'No only have you got one foot in the grace, but it's also got an in-growing toe nail.'

We've decided that the chairman should retire and you are going to tell him.

"I hope you all brought books to read."