Bookworm On Budgets Gifts

What it will take to give all our children a world-class education.

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

Evil Exams!

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

Child is read a book titled 'People' by a parrot.

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Realty. Remember

"And I'd recommend this book to anyone in the market for a free plush toy."

'I said we've got to lift up our numbers! I did not say to turn a loss of 150.000,- into a loss of 280.000,-!!'

'The operation we want you to do is to remove 25 from our budgets.'

Test: Guess who will suffer the most to reduce the deficit?

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Yes dear. But, I don't think you're actually supposed to dispose of your disposable income."

"This new budget plan to save us millions has cost us billions! How much to switch back?"

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"Gracie, I'll never reveal my secret to being the smartest girl in the third grade."

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"This family needs to be more responsible with our finances. A fool and his money are soon parted."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

We have enough money to build it, but nothing left for furniture. Never start something you can't furnish!

"If the rest of school is like first grade. . . this education stuff will be a breeze!"

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"

Minnesota Classroom.