Bookish Giggler Pillows

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Dummies for Dummies.

"Wow - A flying Chaucer!!"

Book Worm

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

N't. Dear, we're commas. Get down here before you get hurt.

'I can't pronounce either his name or the out-sourced country where he works.'

The Farmer Sutra.

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

Meet The Ghostwriter

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

Larry's Literary Market.

Theory of Gravity

Bestsellers have sold so well there are none at all on the shelves.

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

(The really ugly duckling)

Book Publisher. Editor. It's perfect! A history of toasters as a pop-up book.

The Human Ape.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

The world of interpersonal relationships was dealt a blow today when John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, finally came out of the closet. In other news...

"Can I come with you? I need a grant."