Book Tour Dreamers Gifts

'I'm seeking early parole so I can go on a book-signing tour.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Yakety-Yak

Marcel Proust

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Reading in the family.

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

Boss, when's the last time you took a vacation? 1984. March 3rd, to be exact. A Saturday. Instead of staying in to perfect my 25-year plan

"I fell I have a great novel me."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

New around here?

"That's a beautiful poem, but of course, if you took the road less traveled, we'd make sure you have your GPS."

"Maybe we should follow that guy..."

"I see Mom won't let you go to the lake again."

Bestsellers have sold so well there are none at all on the shelves.

'Your book has a wonderful, timely quality. We're putting it on our list for a 2009 release.'

Dame Edna Sitwell

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

I know the guide book said the site was a bit remote....

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

'These days my approach is to start with the Booker Prize acceptance speech and work backwards...'

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

"Is it time to plan our vacation?"

Visit the Geek islands.