Book Pun Fan Gifts

RIP John Le Carre

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Weather forecast

The static electric eel is very rare.

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

"Your four-o'clock is here."

Larry's Literary Market.

Hell's Schlegel

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."