Book Publishing Whiz Pillows

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

Editor.

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

Sub Editor

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

Man milks a book.

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

Children's Publishing - Child's portrait of 'Our Founder'.

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

"We need a better distribution system."

"We used your unsold copies to build a tree, but it's not the same."

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

"Summer's coming. How does pre-med camp sound."