Book Brawler Gifts

'Welcome to our book club. Have a seat until we call on you to defend your book with your fists.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Great British Eccentrics.

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

Round 2 (office meeting being conducted like a boxing match).

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

Poetry debate

'I fear we may have strayed from the agenda somewhat.'

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

'And another thing - you hog the duvet!'

'A fight has broken out between Dr. Who fans and Star Trek fans. No hurry, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt is very small.'

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'

Psychology in Action - on sale at $10.95.

'I like it.'

"Who you calling a candya**?"

Why are you so hostile toward books? Um, where to start: The waste of paper, the lack of multimedia, the one-way nature of the medium. One-way? Authors stuff ideas down your throat. You can't interact with their ideas. You can't crowdsource the direction, or refine the plot or do anything active. You can't shoot anyone. Shoot? I might play a shooting app called Angry Books if the books you were destroying were cute.

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

"You started a fist fight in a bar, eh? We'd better cut you back on the male hormones."

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."

'He's been in here all day looking for trouble.'

Chef's duel.

I went to the book store, drank coffee, listened to some guitar player, talked to a friend, and forgot to buy my book!

'Next time, I go in the bar to ask directions!'

Happy Hour, 10 minute breaks for fights.

'We work hard and play hard in this company.'

In too deep

Department Battles

Cowboys in a Bar.

Conan the Librarian.

"You realize, of course, that this means war."