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"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

The Frog Prince

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

"This is your Aunt Blizzard. She's the wicked witch of the Northeast."

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

That very night in Frank's office a forest grew.

"Hello darling, what do you do for a living?"

Small child checks out a book.

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- King Of The Commune

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

A feminist Christmas.

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? Was he invested in emerging markets?"

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

Author book signing 'Wimpy Kid Diary'!

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"I think I've made a breakthrough concerning the structure of matter."

Beware of chesire dog.

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

The Little Engine That Could pulls into the subway station.

Here's Waldo

"No, I'm the tortoise with the hair."

" 'Goodnight room. Goodnight moon.' "