Bonding With A Stepparent Pillows

'Um...Danae? Does your father know your horse stays on the bed with you?'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

"Bah! in my day bands knew how to play their computers properly. Like Kraftwerk"

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

'Great teamwork Joey!'

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

A woman carrying a child carrying a teddy bear

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

Ugly sisters from Cinderella fighting

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

Mr. Dombey introduces his daughter Florence

"Mom?!"

"We've found your birth mother."

"It's your mother calling."

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

"When you say you want to speak to my parents, do you mean my mommy and her new husband, or my daddy and his new wife or my mommy and daddy?"

"Sorry to break it to you like this, son, but you're not adopted."

'Mom & her new husband' and 'Pop & his live-in girlfriend'.

'Now that we've got a new bull, is he the calf's stepfather?'

'Will you marry us?'

"What's it to be Dad? Two quid or Handels water music in G flat?"

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."