Bond Trader Gifts

'You're a bond trader? Don't worry, there's a new drug to treat interest rate sensitivity.'

Wall Street vendors.

'Yield to maturity.'

"I know you were a car salesman before becoming a bond trader, but we sell bonds in the secondary market, not 'used bonds'."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

Networking

European currency on the edge.

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economy - USA.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Why markets crash.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Money Bar.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

Chinese stock market

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!