Bold Decorator T-Shirts

"Too bright."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'Do you like my little black number?'

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Face Painting.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Quick, press control Z!'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Pollock Painting Company

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."