Body Image Gifts

'Just when I thought menopause couldn't get any worse, my husband shaves off his mustache. Now, I'm the only one in the house with one.'

What men and women see when they look in the mirror.

"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

"They tell me I have pretty feet and I'd like to see them."

"That's a big fat lie!"

"Shut up. You could use an Empire waist, too!"

'Well, since you ask, yes, your bum does look big in that.'

Woman stands on scales which have two categories: Too Skinny / Too Fat.

'Do these wings make my bum look big?'

'No, your eyes are perfect, but fake glasses would sure make you look smarter.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Out of condition man in front of mirror which makes him look slim.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

Same Planet, Different Worlds.

'Honey, you need to put away those fashion magazines and put on some weight!'

Belly reflection

'In the last 26 years, I've lost 2143 pounds. Unfortunately, in the same period I've gained 2187 pounds!'

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Orange worrying about cellulite.

'Does my bum look big in this'

'Don't weigh yourself, mum - we like to see you happy!'

'...The government's new secret weapon in the war against obesity'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

One-legged pirate trying on shoes - 'I'm size zero.'

'I'm not overweight you know? I'm just big boned.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me makes me gain weight."

"Jen finally embraces 'that stubborn belly fat.' "

'And I'm'm not coming out of there 'til I'm amber!'

"It keeps me from obsessing about my body."

"They're not identical twins—they're surgical twins."

"I'm the double of Kate Moss, she's 8 stone, I'm 16."

Nice legs! They're taking the p*ss...maybe they're not. Maybe they mean it...