Body Care Gifts

'Oh, for pity sakes, I've seen backhair before!'

'I'm changing religion - I can't go on being forbidden to shave body hair!'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Self help acupuncture

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Work/Life Balance

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Bad fake tan day.

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Bad hair day!

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."