Body Care Gifts

'Oh, for pity sakes, I've seen backhair before!'

'I'm changing religion - I can't go on being forbidden to shave body hair!'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Madonna of the Pukes.

Self help acupuncture

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Work/Life Balance

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Bad fake tan day.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Bad hair day!

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Surfing the daily stress

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.