Body Art Collector T-Shirts

"And this is what the tattoo you've chosen will look like in thirty years."

'Alright big guy, almost done.'

Angry Dog Tattoo

Tattooed Man

Come and See the Untattooed Thin Lady.

"Let's face it, you've reached peak tattoo."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"He's an abstract artist."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Art Gallery.

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"I read 'Art News.'"

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'...The good news is the Guggenheim has offered $2,500,000 for our chart.'

Tattoos sagging with time