Boardroom Go-getters Gifts

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fund raiser."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'There's a no-nonsense quality about TJ that I admire.'

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"He's a psychopath, I like that in a man!"

'It's lonely at the top.'

"Starting here, each person whisper to your neighbor the purpose of this meeting and we'll see what we end up with."

"Before I continue past my opening joke, I want to know if she is laughing or crying."

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

'It has to be understandable, Higbe. A code of ethics is not actually to be written in code.'

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

'See? The clash of corporate cultures wasn't so great after all!'

"We want supervisors who know noses and never leave a grindstone unturned."

Boardroom antics.

'I'm the new chairman the temp agency sent over.'

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

Angry Company president shows board of directors a chart indicating his low mood.