Bloodhounds Pillows

'I would like you to please not tell people I'm a stalker!'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

A child and his dog

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'We don't do tricks.. because then they'll begin to expect it.'

'Heel.'

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

'Vet clinic? I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'

Homemade dog biscuits.

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

Lessons from the fossil record: Discarded consumer goods in the anthropocene layer in the rock strata.

"Some puppies get bored when they're alone, but my family left me enough chew toys to last all day."

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

"They're remaking the old 'Dracula' film again..."

Skier leaves his skis behind.

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

"Very Funny."

Unemployment Contagion

The Perils of Reading Ghost Stories Before Bed.

"Speaking personally, I haven't had my day, and I've never met any dog who has."

"I've trained him to hunt down the remote."

Fetching the Ball

"My favorite is also 'let sleeping dogs lie'."

"When we arrive at our destination, they'll hook m husband up to a machine that will keep him alive - a minibar."

Dogs Awaiting the Arrival of Father Christmas

Pet Games

"I miss you too, now stop licking the screen."