Blood Sport Buff Pillows

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Bowled over again!

Golfing Boss

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

'Will that be coach?'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'Caution - congealed opening ahead.'

'Can I see your license,please?'

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

Kick! Go for it!

Arch of Triumph Save

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

'Personal Fowl, number 83...'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

Man thinking about playing football and a convertible car

'... Yeah, now I'm starting to feel it, too. ... Sort of a tightness in my neck...'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'Bad news, your blood group has been discontinued.'

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

'It's a clear case of shepherding!'

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'You're looking at suspension, but on the plus side your baseball card will go sky high.'

'What's he on?'

"I have bad knees."

Influences.