Blame Shifter Pillows

"So basically you are looking for books on changing everyone except yourself."

Robots programmed to mimic humans. Who's that? Oh, we just keep him around to blame things on.

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"It's not the mistake you make that's important. It's how you shift the blame."

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

Frank and Ernest Messenger Service. Taking the Blame a Specialty.

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

'I blame the network.'

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

"I'm searching my family history in hopes of finding some generational trauma or institutionalized oppression that would explain whole I'm failing all my courses."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

Like Minded

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."