Blame Busters Pillows

'Leave everything in our hands, we specialize in his fault divorces.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

"I'd like algebra a lot more if it weren't for one thing."

Robots programmed to mimic humans. Who's that? Oh, we just keep him around to blame things on.

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

'Don't even think about it: I won't be the scapegoat again!'

"Today, Trump blamed Obama, Syria blamed terrorists, Russia blamed US aggression, the US blamed Putin..."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."