Blame Busters Pillows

'Leave everything in our hands, we specialize in his fault divorces.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

"I'd like algebra a lot more if it weren't for one thing."

'Don't even think about it: I won't be the scapegoat again!'

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

"Today, Trump blamed Obama, Syria blamed terrorists, Russia blamed US aggression, the US blamed Putin..."

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."