Blame Deflector Pillows

'We don't like to use the word scapegoat.. we prefer to say you're going to be a Blame Engineer.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

Robots programmed to mimic humans. Who's that? Oh, we just keep him around to blame things on.

"Today, Trump blamed Obama, Syria blamed terrorists, Russia blamed US aggression, the US blamed Putin..."

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

'Don't even think about it: I won't be the scapegoat again!'

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'