Blacksmiths Pillows

The jobless blacksmith screwed up the heart surgeon re-education.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Campaign for Plain English

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Ruddy bloggers!

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

'He was a great writer'

I love embroidery

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

How Swordfish Are Born

Waiting for retirement.

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

Jorge Luis Borges

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

Posh Easter Egg

"Caption contest"

Education and Apprenticeships

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Brickie's Mate

'I do have an extra set of keys, they're in the glovebox.'