Black-eyed Pea Lover Pillows

"They're good-luck foods...for winning!!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Pie Charts, Inc.

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

Pea

"Young Montague's full of himself."

'I knew I shouldn't have shown a pie chart so close to lunch.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'Back up ladies.. False alarm! It's not a grass planet..It's mushy peas!'

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

The Taming of the Ewe

"Habanero ..."

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by a string of great hollywood blockbusters."

Moon Pies.

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

After finishing his two year residency at Drai's Beach club, in Las Vegas, D.J. Pauly D decides to return to his first love theatre.

Spider Press-Ups

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

It's National Pie Day! Let's celebrate.

'You, you, you. It's always about you.'

Man juggling apple core.

'This is me at my most masculine.'

'What d'you mean, you're a Republican?'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

Toad a la mode: 'Hey! He keeps the flies off!'

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)