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Chatterbox Podium

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"Must we have ten minutes blasphemy every night?"

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

Wine Talking

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

Shouting

"Really, I feel fine. I just want to pick up some psycho-babble."

Menu. How much is that stuff? Read the hash tag.

The finance department finally achieved their ambition to produce a report that no-one could understand...

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

'Her bruxism resulted in a ferine bricole.'

Management consultants annual face to face interpersonal relationship development party.

This is the part I hate - removing the hook.

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

"Does your client wish to plead 'sweet' or 'lame'?"

"It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free fange scientists."

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

unprunin

"I'll have this guy, this guy, and this guy."

"People complain about management consultants but without US how would anybody instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in client nourishment and product policy interaction strategisation programmes?"

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

'I dreamed last night that we had SALAD.'

'I'm the Company's Registered Acronym Promoter but I've yet to be given a job title.'

Woman to Plumber - 'Do you do teeth?'

'Pass this down, please.'

Clive Bell

Why must you have "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" on the jukebox? A lot of people complained that "Happy Hour" was too happy.