Bistro Explorer Gifts

'He ordered four bottles of wine -- no law says he has to drink them.'

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

La Table

Low-Energy Drinks

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Picking pastries.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

Countervailing Clichés.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

Haute Chinese

Platter confusion.

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'How was the squid?'

"More croutons, sir?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."