Birthmark Buddy Pillows

'Nobody will see it in the sauna. Besides, how bad can your birthmark actually be?'

A midwife holding a baby

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

"I can't believe it...school starts in two weeks!"

"I love college."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

"Yeh, we met at University too, I was a Porter and Sharon was a cleaner."

"Wow! Talk about a tear-jerker."

'This beeper goes off when it's my Birthday. This beeper goes off on the day we met. This beeper goes off on Valentine's Day...'

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

"Wanna hear a real funny joke?"

"This house must be very kid friendly. It has handprints wallpaper..."

"I hope you don't mind me asking, Mrs. Gonzales...but how does the baby get out of there?"

Let's take a shelfie!!

Cupid with sniper rifle.

'That's right! Avoid the issue by giving birth, like you always do.'

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

'You will tweet a tall dark stranger.'

Weight and Fortune.

I shaved my head before clipping season so the sheep feel we're in this together. Shear and shear alike!

'All those classes for the boy and still no improvement,,,'

"Yes, that book does have a pause button. It's called a book mark."

Self-Isolation Survival List

Man with the same birth date as Mick Jagger

Boys in bandages.

"I know, I know. I won't forget your birthday."

And, hey presto! We have a bookmark!

'The guy I met speed-dating invited me on a 15-minute second date.'

"Have you ever thought about getting an e-reader?"

"You'll probably need dentures. I hear you lose all your baby teeth."

"What portrait of my mum? That's a birthmark you idiot!"

'Have you got one with brains in it?'