Birthday Humor Collector Pillows

"For your birthday, I've made a list of annoying tics you might want to take care of."

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"I'm here for the hair."

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Paper or plastic?"

Biliard Enthusiast

"Look who I got a birthday card from!!"

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

A Real Pinata Surprise

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

Big Birthday Boy Breakfast.

"It's like every year my fear gets a little worse."

The First Black Friday

Happy Birthday!

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

Tonight's specials are printed on the side of the barn. ? Bar.

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

"It's my birthday. How about a free drink?"

Misfortune cookies

"All I got was a cake and a card."

"I don't think she's this happy to be turning fifty."

'Why can't he just blow out the candles like everyone else?'

Happy birthday to you!

How about my dinner?

Your DNA on a Stick

"Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you can beam back down to earth for a cheeseburger!"

Sixty

"I hope that isn't crab cake."