Birthday Captains Gifts

'The bad news is, we only had enough money for one birthday present. . . the good news is that your mom has come up with a really fun way to see who gets it.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

Children's Entertainer

The little engine that delegated

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

What he lacks in ability and experience he makes up in being the chairman's son.

"I'm not going to do any work...cos it's my birthday!"

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

Pinata good bags.

'Trust me, tomorrow's Young Master's birthday party: Time to find a hiding spot for the day...'

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Extreme Birthdays.

Jackson Pollock's short-lived career as a kid's party face painter.

'If there was one thing Methusela hated. It was his Birthday bumps.

Cloning...Oops! Oxelot.

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

The first birthday gift.

Giant Birthday Cake

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

'That does it! I've had it with that nincompoop! Every time there's a birthday, he's the first to sign the card and he never leaves room for anyone else!'

Life begins at 60

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

The Big Bad Wolf Turns 50.

'Here comes Tim. Rumor has it he gets hot wax treatments.'

'Jam roly-poly, treacle tart, ice cream... We're in luck, it's a dessert island.'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'I must be getting older, the cards joking about my age just don't seem as funny anymore'

Man holding a birthday cake.

"Oops, I just ate Diane's birthday card and signed 'Happy 30th, girl!' on a donut."

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

"It's another birthday card for me...!"