Birdwatcher Aficionado T-Shirts

'I remember when it used to take three weeks to send a message across the country by pigeon... nowadays you put the pigeon in the mail, and it gets there the very next day.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"That's not how I sat on you."

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'You know too much!'

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Spring Training

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Two vegans, please."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."