Birdwatcher Aficionado T-Shirts

'I remember when it used to take three weeks to send a message across the country by pigeon... nowadays you put the pigeon in the mail, and it gets there the very next day.'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"The fish sticks here are very good."

"That's not how I sat on you."

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'You know too much!'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Canada Goose Jackets

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

Spring Training

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'