Bird Rearing Pillows

Old lady in wheelchair commenting on pet cochin fowl dressed in human clothes

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Canada Goose Jackets

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Bird Torture.

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Spring Training

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."