Bird Pun Fan Pillows

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"The deal looks cut and dried to me but Haskins smells a rat."

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

If chickens had lips...'Thank God! I made it to the other side!'

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

'Culled?! That's a relief...I thought you said we were gonna be killed!'

Tightrope Walker Over-Balances.

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow putt

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

Thanksgiving Turkey Weight and Fortune

'I don't think much of the punchline.'